billyhank (billyhank) wrote,

Dumb damned criminals

Okay, so Buttons has gotten on the CSI kick, gets all excited about the unraveling of forensic evidence, the cleverness associated with fingerprints and bits of fluff, but here's a question: how come every damned criminal confesses as soon as one of the CSI kids lays out the evidence chain? I mean, seriously, if you've thought out your crime, you've covered your tracks, you've done all the planning, carried it out and have been successfully lying about it for, well, however ever long, are you really gonna crack just 'cause a pudgy guy tells you that they found a toothpick with your spit on it trapped between two dryer sheets with a piece of the deceased's pubic hair in a cereal box stuffed in a dumpster out behind a head shop?

'Cause, if that's true, we're talking one seriously pansyass criminal and I, for one, like to think that a bunch of driven, overachieving, red-blooded Americans can do better than that.

It's the Jerry Bruckheimer effect (affect?), I think. No matter how interesting or clever an idea might be, his mere presence dumbs it down to a level that Prez Jr. could potentially understand. I got into a pissing contest with Warren Ellis about the guy once, and that seemed to be the only thing he couldn't argue with, that Bruckheimer talks down to the audience, and the audience sucks it up. And we, my dear friends, are the audience. So, as with most things, we really only have ourselves to blame.

Of course, while I'm bitching the subject of my bitch is playing innocently and innocuously behind me. Just a part of the problem...

...and, yes, the supposed OD'd but actually murdered junkie's girlfriend just spilled her guts based on an earring back and a bug bite.

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Pretty sure it's effect (it's the noun).

And I bet the criminals in CSI: NY won't be such pushovers!! :)